Bumpin' In The Club With The Platypus

Future #1 song on the charts. You heard it here first kiddies.

Apparently Librarians Think They Know Somethin

So apparently some librarian from Oregon is the only one on this earth who's bracket does not look like total shit right now. This isn't too impressive I don't think, like somebody had to do it. Last year it was the autistic kid coming through with the 2 perfect rounds now we got some lady from East Bumfuck who clearly got lucky. If everyone in the world has a different and unique bracket, it makes sense for at least one of them to be near perfect right? Maybe I'm just jealous because I have money riding on this. I mean the VCU pick was bold I'll give her that but they were probably the most overrated underrated team in the tourny...that doesn't make sense.

Yea, Idk

Gimme

I want 100 of these to float me to class every morning. I am never going to walk again.

BREAKING NEWS: Barack Obama Divorces Michelle- To Marry Kansas?

Our president here just can't keep his pants on when it comes to Kansas, huh? Legit he's picked KU to win the National Championship the last two years. Dude. Grow up. Why don't you just blow the entire state of Kansas already? Like he clearly wants it. I wouldn't be surprised if they straight up move the White House to Topeka. Just tie some balloons to it (Up reference) and hope it lands somewhere decent.

I'm gonna go watch Up now and cry.

P.S. I don't think he's actually getting divorced.

P.P.S Kansas might win it.

This deserves some sort of award, like best video in history

I've seen this video over a hundred times. And I say that with only a smidgen of exaggeration.

It still makes me laugh every time. Even when I try not to crack it gets me. I won't lie it kind of loses me after the initial dance sequence but the first 16 seconds or so take me to a happy place.

Respect

This poor guy just wanted to take a shower. IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?? So in case you're slow and can't tell from the video this guy Timothy Chapek broke into a random house and called 911 on himself. Towards the end of the video you can hear the owner of the house talking to him and she says she's going to call 911 on him. TOO BAD BITCH already called them. TAKE THAT. But seriously I got a lot of respect for Timmy for 3 reasons.
1) He didn't take anything from the house. All he did was take a shower.
2) He straight up told the lady his real name.
3) He called 911 first. Thats how great justice is in America.
Go Timmy! You are America.

No more ads. Sad face.

So GoogleAdsense decided to yank our ads. Apparently they can tell when you click on your own ads to get more money.

Pretty much they thought they could shut down Dorito Fingers. But little do they know I'm not all about the money. So we're gonna keep going. Straight love of the game.

And then hopefully we'll figure something out with some other ad site and we'll be all set.

College won't pay for itself.

Jam Of The Week

Absolutely cream over this song every single time it touches my cerebellum. Proof that a solid beat paired up with a chick who has an awesome voice kills it 10 times out of 10. My only complaint is that she could definitely be easier on the eyes, but who am I kidding? I'm fucking Shrek with a jew fro so I have no right to say that. Shame on me.

High School Player Dies After Hitting Game Winner

So they don't mention it in the video but apparently this kid Wes Leonard that you see hit the game winner died while celebrating on the court. Way to act like you've been there, guy.

P.S. Seriously though, this is the way I want to go out.

Invite Me To A Chingy Party

See that kids? That right there is an exposed right breasticle. In the middle of a music video. Made way back in '03. I'll be honest, I'm pissed it took me 9 years to find this, but now that's irrelevant because now I have a one-way ticket to TittyVille, and I'm not coming back. It's rare moments like this that I actually wish I was black too. It's literally like Chingy and his boys just went out for a night on the town and though "what the hell, let's tape the shit we do then make it the music video." Just the epitome of a black man's Christmas out there. Titties. Ass. Money. And a right boob. Sign me up, I want to be black.

P.S. The tit in question is present from about 2:30-2:33. 

Bieber Sells Hair Clippings for 40k

So this little douchebag with the angel voice just won't go away. Now he's selling pieces of his hair on Ebay. Well apparently Ellen DeGeneres is, and I guess the proceeds are going to some charity. You can't really get mad at this if the money is going to a good cause but all I want to know is why would someone want a piece of his hair? Like, ya it's probably fun for a little while to say "I have a piece of JBiebs hair!" And for a price like 40k it obviously went to some spoiled princess from Malibu or something. But seriously, what do you even do with the hair after you buy it? Does it just sit on your dresser? Do you frame it and put it in your living room? Do you make one of those sketchy shrines like Helga made in Hey Arnold? All I know is that for that same price I could be driving a Mercedes instead of possessing something that's going to be looked at as "creepy" in about 5 years. Enjoy the hair slut.

Avril Lavigne was and is still awesome and pretty sexy

So Dave and I have just been cruising and perusing through all Avril's old hits. And trust me there are a LOT of them. Like after every youtube video theres just another fantastic song right below it. I'm pretty sure we're like 8 deep right now.

How did I never fully appreciate this girl? Maybe cause I was 11 and pre-pubescent? I don't know. But I do know that I'm on board with Avril now and next time theres a concert or whatever I'm there.

Ok

I'm ok with this. A little three-ball action never hurt nobody.

Kill It.

I hate everything about this, and feel bad for quite possibly poisoning Dorito Fingers with this video. Kill it.

Starving

I really can't even look at this background cause I want those doritos so bad.

Cam Meekins 1993

So anyone who really knows me knows I'm way into the skinny white boy rap movement. Personally, I don't get why people give me a hard time about it. Like its a popular genre for a reason.

This guy Cam Meekins is a high school senior. I've loved his music for a while now. He can do some great acoustic stuff but also has no trouble going in over a solid beat, provided by Matty Trump.

The song I put on here isn't the best on his new mixtape, 1993, but it's one of the few thats been put on youtube already. If you wanna check out the whole mixtape you should hit the link. Support the local white rappers! woo!

















http://www.datpiff.com/Cam-Meekins-1993-mixtape.204076.html

Revolution Trade Rights to Fred

New England sports fans it's officially time to panic. Your beloved New England Revolution have traded their rights to Fred to D.C. United. Obviously I couldn't give less of a shit about this but I just thought it was interesting that this guy's name is simply Fred. Sure plenty of Brazilian players have one name names like Ronaldinho, Robinho, and of course Pele. Reminder: I don't give a shit I just know those first two names because I used to play Fifa Street, and Pele because he's the Jesus of soccer. But a name like Fred? Where is this dude from? That definitely does not sound like a Brazilian name and actually when I read the article on ESPN Boston, I thought they were talking about the pubescent youtube sensation.

Go sports

Is It Bad That I'm Rooting For Kirilenko's Hair Right Now?

Andrei's hair is so diabolical that Dennis Eckersley hasn't even made a nickname for it yet. This is all coming from a guy who rocks pube-esque hair on a daily basis so take my word for it when I say that this look is the future of basketball. I love it. I love it. I love it. 

Bill Walton is a gift

Bill Waltons commentary is all over the place and I love it.

The guy just loves life. You can't hate on that and I won't.

In 48 minutes of basketball commentary he managed to compare KG to an embryo, completely over-simplify the C's system, and tell us a story about his 3 months of bed rest during which he grew 6 inches.

Keep doing you Bill Walton. Keep doing you.

Fredetteaboutit

This Is Weird

We all knew it would be weird without Perk but so far in this game we look like a completely different team. Jeff Green isn't off to a great start and doesn't really look comfortable out there at all. Krstic is playing well but I still have this weird feeling about him like a teenage kid who gets a new stepfather and refuses to accept him as his new dad. As racist as this sounds I'm just not comfortable with our starting center being white, it reminds me too much of Vitaly Potapenko and we all know how much fun those years were.

I just can't seem to get comfortable watching this new team so far, it's like I have a mental wedgie. Eventually I will learn to love both of these new guys as much as I love Perkins but right now I'm still mourning the loss of The Scowl.

Couldn't Be Happier

The third and final piece of the puzzle has been set. What's this third piece? Can anyone even possibly make the tandem of Dick and Jake better? Only time will tell, but I'm up for the challenge.

I'm Dave. I have a jew fro and moobs so get at me. I'll be getting Doritos all over my Fingers daily and I hope you join us for the ride. Leggo

Posner

Mike Posner's a talented dude. I've been a fan of his music for quite some time now.

While some Posner fans may take issue with this because its a lot more mainstream, this is probably one of my favorite songs of his to date. It's wicked catchy, fairly lyrical, and it just has that classic Posner feel to it that only he can provide.

Also, him and Wayne make an impressive duo. I'm not sure I expected them to mesh so well, but this came out great.

They're at it again

These two are easily one of the best dynamic duos in the history of life.

Best friends their whole lives and now they're just pumping out movies likes newspapers.

According to sources, Ben and Matt, or Matt and Ben rather, are trying to make a movie called "The Trade." The true story of Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson, former Yankees players who famously pulled off an actual "life swap."

These guys traded everything. Wives. Children. Dogs. Houses. Clothes? Maybe.

Attempts to tell this epic tale have repeatedly been shot down by Mikey and Fritzy, who I guess didn't understand how their actions would be perceived by the public.

These nutjobs thought they could get away with this unscathed? Come on now. They had to know that 30 years later, two well-known avid Sox fans would try to make a movie to make fun of them.

Get it done boys.

Strange Thought

This morning I woke up still half-dreaming a little bit and had a very strange half-dream. I was fantasizing that we traded Tim Thomas for Kendrick Perkins. Not Tim Thomas the retired NBA journey-man, but Tim Thomas the NHL goalie. This made me think of a terrible idea to not just let teams trade pro athletes, but to let cities and states trade athletes. If we could trade our entire Bruins team to beef up the Celtics for a few more years and then maybe give the B's a shot when we are finished that would be spectacular. On a side note this would completely ruin sports and I would eventually hate it because we all know New York would completely blow things out of proportion and somehow end up with Lebron Kobe and Pujols and form the greatest multi-sport big 3 ever (run-on sentence...CHECK). But honestly I would love if we could just do this one trade because I miss Perk so much that literally it hurts. I even daydreamed about the Thunder beating us in the Finals today and didn't even get mad. There's only one problem though: Oklahoma City does not have an NHL franchise. Damn.

Dopeness

This is more than a music video. Its like an epic mini-movie.

I've loved this song since I heard the initial version a few months back. The girl on the chorus has such a sexy voice, its crazy.

Eminems voices normally get me fired up and this song is no different but adding visuals triples the effect.

Boston's Pickup Team vs. Denver

Our offense was not OUR offense. Our defense was not OUR defense. We had 9 players so it's whatever but I really hope things come together fast. In 2008 we had Posey play the 4 and KG play the 5 during some stretches so hopefully we can run an offense similar to that with JGreen in the mix. I heard A. Sherrod Blakely question his toughness before the game and I don't know if I agree with him there. Obviously Perk was our toughest player but I think JGreen has some fire to him. Well I mean I don't really watch Thunder games but I know that he attacks the hoop and lets out Pierce-like screams while he does it. Playing on the same team as KG for a while should do it regardless. Can you imagine what Big Baby would be like if he never played with KG? Probably would be goofing off and doing a lot more shenanigans like this.

I'm going to continue not smiling until we get Rip Hamilton and Troy Murphy then maybe I'll smirk a little. Until then I'm gonna go watch highlights of Reggie Lewis and eat Haagen-Dazs. Night.

Art

I'm beginning to fall in love with these NBA Phantom videos. Watching great plays like this one in super-slow-mo is like watching high definition basketball-porn. This play in particular just because Nate goes all bouncy-house over Paul's back after the shot.



It was fun Nate

Wait never mind that's Kevin Hart. Very funny D3

Gloucester fisherman in hot water for licking some dudes ear

Thought we should probably start the blog off with a bang.

So apparently this fisherman, John Cusick, got himself in trouble for getting a little too freaky with a co-worker on board his boat (ship?) the "Sea Farmer II." He allegedly hugged one of his monitors (whatever that is) and stuck his tongue in his or her ear.

Now that's key right there. The article in the Boston Herald did not specify the gender of the victim. If it's a guy that changes the entire dynamic of this story. And if it's a girl then this guy needs to view the situations guide to pimpin. Cause whatever he's doing isn't working.

Getting hit with assault and sexual harassment charges isn't the way to go guy.